Why Teenage Relationships Hardly Work | Female Perspective

In the teenage generation, we sometimes see many young people “rushing” into relationships due to various reasons. Sometimes they work but most of the time… they don’t.

Here are my opinions to why.

There’s also a male perspective article on this very same topic so check that out for some varying opinions.

Captured by | Jemima

Seeing so many celebrities in relationships or even scrolling down the Twitter timeline may cause teenagers to rush into their own with people they hardly know, in the end it becomes dysfunctional and may cause emotional heartbreak.

The Waiter Vs The Rusher:

People can rush into relationships; without knowing anything about the partner.

Many teenagers go though the ‘talking’ stage, which causes one or the other to catch some sort of feelings.

These feelings vary from liking the attention, the time spent, the topics discussed or even the desperation to get them to like you (the opposite may happen ) however it always gets confused with actually falling for that person.

Mainly because within 3 months or so, it is impossible to know that person, know all their flaws and still accept them, it is impossible for the two to have been through enough for those ‘love’ like feeling to truly develop.

This is where the failure comes.

The one with the stronger feelings (although they might be wrong feelings) pushed for a relationship to take place and the other either feelings ‘ready’ as well or is pressured in.

Either way they both get into the relationship not being 100% ready for it or actually have clear feelings for the other, but because everyone else is doing in and it’s that age, it just happens.

A month or two later, no matter what has happened in the relationship, whether the one was used or one gave up something, that same person or other comes to the realisation that is not for them anymore.

Love and Lust:

The next thing is the confusion between lust and love in relationships 

In the dictionary, lust simply means ‘strong sexual desire’ and that is completely opposite to love.

Love is having strong feelings of affection, care and complete  obsession over that person.

Furthermore, with the flow of hormones and constant emotions, it is understandable why teenagers confuse the two.

This is not to say that they don’t know the meaning but simply they don’t know how to express them, they don’t know how to separate the two meanings and end up merging the two.

This being said, whilst one of the people in the relationship is selling lust the other might actually fall in love, leading to the pair being on different pages in their relationship.

This may even lead to a break up as it causes a lot of arguments where one member of the relationship will be way ahead of the other meaning they no longer want the same things. 

 

Self Appreciation and Attention:

Sometimes I think to my self ; “Why can’t I be like those other girls?”, “Why don’t I have a man” – life becomes boring when a girl can’t give the love she wants to herself… So she seeks it from other males.

Most of us, as a teenager myself, base relationships on infatuation more than love itself.

You can be attracted to someone in the short term but not think about them being anything in the future. However, when you grow older you become more aware of yourself. Your perspective begins to change.

There are a small percentage of people who find “teenage romance” and end up 70, still happy together.

Most of the time teenage relationships thrive on the emotions of each other.

The various mistakes which are made because of uncertainties may leave the two individuals in a predicament and probably won’t lead into a long lasting relationship.

Bare in mind we are at a time where we should be enjoying our lives, being ambitious and making proper decisions; we have to juggle a lot on our plate, at the same time. Being restricted, from the moment you enter puberty, is not always good for you character.

Relationships should happen when you don’t expect it or when you don’t even want it to occur. When you are focused on actively achieving your goals, instead of searching for relationships. That is when you are most likely to be seen as attractive and a relationship may form.

The law of attraction is what keeps your atoms in your body intact, and what causes the planets in space to keep rotating. Use it to your advantage.