I’ll keep this as short as I can for the sake of those with short attention spans.
I spent most of my teenage years depressed and even suicidal at some points, just because of one negative incident in my life.
An absent father.
My dad left my mother when I was very young and because of that I grew up with no memory of him, not even an idea of what he looked like.
I would ask my mum where’s dad? I never got a clear answer and grew up believing that it was my fault he wasn’t around.
I believed that since he wasn’t there for me, I obviously wasn’t worth anyone sticking around for… As you can imagine with a negative belief about myself like that, it had a VERY VERY big impact on my everyday life.
While the typical story (suggested by media) for a young black male with an absent father would be a life of crime, rebellion, anger, distribution in schools and work institutions.
Mine wasn’t so. I was never the angry type, I kept everything in.
The rapper Bugzy Malone puts it nicely in his fire in the booth when he says
‘know that I’m an imploder, that means I hold it in but if I explode I’ll be like vinegar and baking soda’.
This sort of describes how I was; the so called ‘explosions’ would happen at home.
Countless arguments with my mother and I could even say I borderline hated her at one point all because of negative and twisted beliefs about myself from ONE bad thing in my life.
See, what we fail to understand is that dwelling on negativity is no different from drinking poison in that everything great in your life will slowly die the longer you dwell on it.
I was creative, free and outgoing as a child.
But as soon as I got to an age where this father pain started to affect me, all of that was stripped away from me and the people around me even started describing me as a ‘robot’ because it was almost like I had no emotions at ALL.
So what do I mean by sacrifice negativity? I mean literally sit down and think of all the negative things that happened that you still use as an excuse for why you can’t make it in life and live your dream.
Okay, once you’ve done that I need you to understand this… You can have excuses or your dream, but you can’t have both.
So now, make your choice. If you chose your dreams then AMAZING.
I want you to do whatever you have to do to make sure those negative experiences become DEAD to you and are of no effect. If you choose excuses, then all I can say is prepare for a life of regret…
So… What do you choose? I’ve already made my choice…
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