Have you ever found yourself in a position where attention from others made you somehow feel better even though you’re the exact same person without the attention? Studies show that this type of attention seeking mentality can become dysfunctional if it dominates a person’s life.

Their self-esteem becomes depends on the constant compliments of others.

Captured By | Bash Davidson

This can affect a person’s ability to maintain healthy friendships and relationships.

With the increased use of social media, the issue of lack of self-love in our society has become a rising issue and not just with teenagers, even within some mature age groups this issue is prevalent.

I think from this I can safely say that in this generation it seems that much of our self-esteem is fuelled off through what others think of us and how others perceive us.

Especially through social media outlets such as Instagram and Snapchat, where everything that we do is ranked or given a score as a measurement of our popularity.

This makes it hard for most people in today’s society to build strong foundations for relationships as there is a lack of self-importance and empowerment for oneself.

The Teenage Dilemma: 

Being insecure as a teenager has become somewhat a social norm, you may not like your hair in a certain hairstyle or you may feel like you are too big or too small.

The school’s health education unit found that self-esteem in teenage girls have declined by just under 10% in the last 10 years showing that now only 33% of girls aged 14-15 years old felt good about themselves compared to 41% in 2007.

As we grow older and our mentality matures, it’s important that we begin to fall in love with our imperfections and use that as the foundation for our journey of self-love.

By Seyi Solaja | @shaysconcept

I believe that through becoming secure within yourself, you can become decisive and independent in every relationship that you encounter in your life.

This first comes from not needing to depend on others for a sense of acceptance which seems to occur a lot with teenagers and young adults.

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard of how others treat you” – Sonia Friedman.

So if you do not regard yourself highly, how do you expect others to?

Getting to know yourself and learning the strengths and weaknesses of your personality may seem easy, but this task of self-actualisation is in fact a process, and once completed sets you up for life and providing you with the foundation to enter any relationship, knowing your full self-worth.

Read Shiroe’s other hit article A Message To All Black Girls

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